Headlines from Hell!

How to Make Terrorists Talk: Cookies

Yeah KKKons, that torture shit sure works don't it?! Couldn't you have at least set up a fake confession to get that "Iraq/al CIA-DUH" link?! Morons.

Foster Kids Still Need Parents After Age 18

Hey KKKons: START ADOPTING. After all, you're PRO LIFE, right?

Petraeus: U.S. Violated Geneva Conventions

NO FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Swine Flu Strikes Cruise Ship

I don't fucking care. That's what you get! Those fucking cruise ships are the WORST! BOOORING!

Drug Users Given Anti-Overdose Kits

GOOD IDEA!

Levin: Cheney's Full of It on Those Docs

Cheney is full of SHIT on EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Liddy Fears Sotomayor 'Menstruating'

This fucking sick bastard. What is WRONG with you KKKons?! Seriously? Did G. Gordon FELON buy and smoke all the crack in whatever town he lives in to come up with this shit?!?!?!

Sotomayor Ruled Against Teen Blogger

And y'all KKKons wanna say what a LIBERAL she is?! Why did she rule AGAINST FREE SPEECH?! HELLO ASSHOLES!

US Buying Stake in More Private Companies

Yeah good idea. Let us know how that works out, jackasses!

14 World War II Vets Visit Their Memorial

Wow...ya know, not too long, these guys ain't gonna be around. Hats off.

Bush Calls Clinton His 'Brother'

Speaking of people on CRACK!

Phil Spector Gets 19 Years for Murder

FINALLY! A California Jury GOT IT RIGHT!!!

Obama: Economy 'Back from the Brink'

Really?! How come every store I go in, NO ONE IS BUYING SHIT?!

Hospital Takes Down Worker's US Flag

Goddamn, not THIS type shit again. WHAT THE FUCK?! Sue the FUCK out of this hospital already!

NSA Advisor: US Safer Under Obama

NO SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!

Wasilla Pastor: Will the Antichrist Be Gay?

This pastor is one SERIOUS wackjob. Can't we just let fucking Alaska be it's own country, make Puerto Rico the 50th state in its place, AND BE DONE WITH THESE ASSHOLE CONS ALREADY?!

Federal Tax Revenue Drops $138 Billion

GOOD! That's $138 Billion that WON'T go to WASTE!

Winant: Limbaugh's Anal Fixation

Simple: oxyRU$Hitler is a CLOSE CASE.

11 Soldiers Commit Suicide at Fort Campbell

Odd...haven't heard about this in the LIBERAL media. Don't wanna let the public know how FUCKED UP war is.