Ain't IS a word!

On a side note, something that has been bugging the living FUCK out of me lately.
Ever heard someone, usually a teacher, say "AIN'T ain't a word!"?
Wrong.
"Ain't" IS a word! Ziltak, zufu, zorkom, now THOSE are NOT words...not that I know of. At least not in "PROPER" English. Ahh, there's the KEY word: PROPER.
"Ain't" is indeed a word...a SLANG word. Not a PROPER word. Thus, this negates the completely MORONIC statement "AIN'T ain't a word!" now DOESN'T IT?! I have to ask, WHO IS THE FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO FIRST SAID "AIN'T AIN'T A WORD!" and WHY DIDN'T SOMEBODY DO WHAT WE CALL IN MY PARTS "BLACK-JACK HIS ASS WITH A CROWBAR"!!!!!!!!!!
What about "won't"?! How the HELL is THAT a "word"?! How does that even quality as a slang word??? You mean to tell me somebody took the words "will" and "not", and instead of making it "willn't" which, well that doesn't really work now does it!?!?!? Ok, so they said "Fuck that! Urm, how about uhhhh, WON'T! Ya know, it sounds like DON'T!" Alright, nothing wrong with that, according to esteemed linguist, right? SO THEN WHAT IN THE FUCK IS SO BAD ABOUT "AIN'T"?!?!?!?!? After all, "ain't" is FAR more versatile than "won't"!!! Won't is just a contraction of will not. Ain't, on the other hand, can be used in place of: is not, are not, am not, are not, and much much more!!!!!!!!! Imagine that! A slang word that blows the BARELY "proper" word "won't" right out of the water!!!!!!! Suck on that, grammar police!!!

And this is why people like me are so unpopular, I speak the truth.
In this world so full of fucking pure phony lame bullshit like American Idol, Jersey Shitshore, Oprah/Dr. Swill, and 9 trillion metric tons of bullshit "reality" tv, the truth is fiction to most.