http://www.miamiherald.com/2013/08/10/3553275/florida-speakers-mystery-job.html
________________________________________
GARY NUMAN: "I AM DUST" ***NEW!!!!***
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcCLaxFTZ-U
SPLINTER: Oct. 15, 2013!!! http://Numan.co.uk/
________________________________________
NIN @ Lollapalooza '13, FULL CONCERT!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vF6BXLi2OyA
Showing posts with label Carl Hiaasen OWNS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Carl Hiaasen OWNS. Show all posts
Monday, August 12, 2013
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Big Sugar’s subsidy — how sweet it is
EXTRA EXTRA! NEW by Carl Hiaasen!!!
http://www.miamiherald.com/2013/03/23/3301344/big-sugars-subsidy-how-sweet-it.html
http://www.miamiherald.com/2013/03/23/3301344/big-sugars-subsidy-how-sweet-it.html
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Monday, January 21, 2013
On flaky professors and nutty ideas
FAU = Find ANOTHER University!!!
http://www.miamiherald.com/
the latest by Carl Hiaasen!!!
http://www.miamiherald.com/
the latest by Carl Hiaasen!!!
Monday, January 14, 2013
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Sunday, September 2, 2012
2 most recent Carl Hiaasen columns!
http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/08/25/2966697/gop-delegates-dont-go-near-the.html from Aug. 25, 2012.
and http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/09/01/2979063/dolphins-at-the-mercy-of-the-clueless.html from Sept. 1, 2012.
http://CarlHiaasen.com
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/columnists/carl-hiaasen/index.html
and http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/09/01/2979063/dolphins-at-the-mercy-of-the-clueless.html from Sept. 1, 2012.
http://CarlHiaasen.com
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/columnists/carl-hiaasen/index.html
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Zombies Over Miami!
Alright, get ready, this is going to be THE Carl Hiaasen column OF THE YEAR! Perhaps even of all TIME! http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/06/02/2829962/nude-face-eating-cannibal-must.html
 |
| GROCERY STORE FAIL! EVER HEARD OF A FIDGE, NIMRODS!!! |
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
The latest from Carl Hiaasen
Mitt wins … unless he blows it
Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney greets Bella of the Ball, a Pomeranian, who dressed for the rally at Charles Towne Landing in Charleston, South Carolina on Thursday, January 5, 2012.
BY CARL HIAASEN
CHIAASEN@MIAMIHERALD.COM
Florida is being overrun by pundits and pollsters in advance of the upcoming Republican presidential primary.
That’s because (a) everyone is sick of Des Moines and Manchester in the winter, and (b) the Florida primary is actually important, unlike the Iowa caucuses or the balloting in puny New Hampshire, which barely has half the population of Miami-Dade County.
The national media’s mission in the weeks ahead is to inject the Florida primary contest with high drama and suspense. In reality, the race is easy to call.
Mitt Romney wins here in a cakewalk if:
He isn’t struck by lightning or swallowed by a sinkhole.
He continues to avoid taking bold, definable positions, especially on immigration.
He remains amnesic about the Obama-like health-care reform he initiated as governor of Massachusetts.
His hair stays perfect.
He doesn’t make campaign appearances with Sarah Palin, Donald Trump or Dog the Bounty Hunter.
He doesn’t get caught with a loaded Glock at a South Beach nightclub.
He doesn’t hit on LeBron James’ fiancée in the produce aisle of Epicure.
He doesn’t sneak off to the Bahamas on a yacht named Monkey Business.
He doesn’t turn up in an old strip-club photo with his arm around Ponzi schemer Scott Rothstein.
He doesn’t say anything good about Casey Anthony.
He doesn’t say anything good about BP.
He doesn’t say anything good about Fidel Castro.
He doesn’t say anything good about Raúl Castro.
Newt Gingrich has a chance to win in Florida if:
Mitt Romney trips over his wand during a campaign stop at Universal’s Harry Potter theme park and is forced to drop out of the race.
Rick Perry opens his mouth even once during the debates.
Ron Paul offers to dismantle America’s entire nuclear arsenal if Iran agrees to be nicer to us.
Rick Santorum says Planned Parenthood is part of a vast international conspiracy to steal human embryos and breed a super-race of illegal farm workers who can pole-vault over the giant electrified fence he wants to build along the Mexican border.
Jon Huntsman keeps doing whatever he’s been doing.
Rick Perry has a chance to win in Florida if:
Mitt Romney is trampled by addled goats at the Okeechobee County Fair and is forced to drop out of the race.
Newt Gingrich campaigns in the Panhandle wearing a five-karat diamond ear stud from Tiffany’s.
Rick Santorum stands on Calle Ocho with a bullhorn repeating his demand for legislation making English the official language of the United States.
Ron Paul is allowed to fully explain libertarianism during the debates.
Jon Huntsman keeps doing whatever he’s been doing.
Rick Santorum has a chance to win in Florida if:
Two days before the big vote, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Rick Perry, Ron Paul and Jon Huntsman are caught poaching baby alligators with bang-sticks after a drunken midnight airboat jaunt through the Everglades. In disgrace all are forced to drop out of the GOP race, leaving Santorum alone on the ballot.
Ron Paul has a chance to win in Florida if:
The state’s entire water supply is mysteriously contaminated by a rare amoebic parasite that robs its human victims of all free will and common sense, pitching them into a helpless daze in which they robotically obey all telephoned instructions, no matter how bizarre.
Paul’s senior staff, drinking only bottled seltzer, spends every last dime of his campaign war chest on a sophisticated call center that contacts every registered Republican in Florida one hour before the polls open, urging them to vote for Paul, vote for Paul, vote for Paul . . .
Fifty-one percent do. The other 49 percent cast their ballots for Sir Paul McCartney.
Running last and least is Jon Huntsman. If he’s still in the race by Jan. 31, he has a chance to win in Florida only if:
Manatees grow wings.
Original article link: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/01/07/2578996/mitt-wins-unless-he-blows-it.html
Sunday, December 4, 2011
The latest from Carl Hiaasen
http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/12/03/v-print/2530637/only-in-miami-indicted-but-on.html#ixzz1fZVQibL3
Only in Miami: Indicted, but on the payroll
BY CARL HIAASEN
http://CarlHiaasen.com
CHiaasen@MiamiHerald.com
More proof that Miami is the worst-run city in America:
Assistant Fire Chief Veldora Arthur was paid more than $120,000 to stay home and do nothing for seven months this year.
She wasn’t sick. She wasn’t agoraphobic.
She was under federal indictment for mortgage fraud.
On paper, Miami has a policy stating that non-union employees who face criminal charges should be placed on unpaid leave, or reassigned to another job. Arthur wasn’t reassigned, and she kept getting paid.
Between her indictment in February and her conviction in September, Arthur’s only duties were to stay inside her house from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., and phone the office twice a day. She also got a one-hour lunch break.
This is uproariously humorous, unless you’re a Miami taxpayer.
As expected, nobody in authority has offered a reasonable explanation of why Arthur got cozy treatment. However, plenty of reasonable questions are being asked, such as, “Why would they pay you to be at home when they could put you to work?”
That one came from Robert Suarez, the city’s fire union president.
In any other U.S. city, Arthur’s crime alone would have been the predominant aspect of the scandal. She acted as a “straw buyer” in an $11 million mortgage-fraud scam involving high-end condominiums in Aventura.
In exchange for about $317,000, the assistant fire chief allowed her name and credit ratings to be used to secure mortgages for the condos. She even claimed to be living in one of them when in fact she lived in Weston. The units later went into foreclosure, which surprised everyone but the scammers.
It was a sleazy end to an inspiring story line. Arthur, 45, had worked for the fire department since 1986. She was Miami’s first black female firefighter, and more than 10 years ago had been elevated to an administrative, non-union post.
At the time she was busted, Arthur was in charge of the fire department’s payroll and quality control. Again, the irony would be splendid if she hadn’t been getting a $184,000 salary, and wasn’t in line for a $167,000 pension from the city’s deferred retirement system.
But all that money wasn’t enough. Arthur got greedy.
City policy is to put criminally charged employees on unpaid leave. If they’re acquitted, they get reimbursed for back pay. As an alternative, the city manager may transfer them to another job until their court case is resolved.
The unusually generous decision to pay Arthur to stay home until the trial came from top city officials. On March 2, Miami’s then-chief financial officer, Larry Spring, emailed fire chief Maurice Kemp and directed him to put Arthur on paid leave.
It rankled many firefighters, who saw it as special treatment. The city has claimed that other non-union employees charged with serious crimes were kept on the payroll, but the records are proving mysteriously elusive. (Miami City Hall is a notorious black hole for important documents. The filing system was apparently devised by a pack of stoned dingbats).
How did Assistant Fire Chief Arthur pass the time during those seven months of enforced yet highly compensated relaxation? Chatting with her two defense lawyers, no doubt. Watching soap operas, perhaps, or knitting a turtleneck.
We know that she was given permission to take two vacations — one in North Carolina, and one in the Bahamas. We also know that, in addition to her salary and pension, she cashed in 125 hours of accumulated vacation time, worth another $11,000.
In a sane world, Arthur’s fertile relationship with Miami taxpayers would have ended definitively on Sept. 30, when a jury convicted her on three counts in the mortgage fraud case.
The good news: Arthur has been canned from the fire department. The bad news: She still wants that $167,000-plus city pension.
She’ll probably get it, too, unless the Miami Fire Fighters’ and Police Retirement Trust has its way. Trust officials say that employees convicted of felonies can forfeit a pension if the crime occurred on the job.
Arthur made the blunder of using city fax machines to send out letters and contracts while carrying out her role in the mortgage fraud. Prosecutors introduced the documents as evidence during the trial.
With any luck, some sane person at City Hall will agree that a lowlife scam artist who just happened to be assistant fire chief doesn’t deserve a big fat check for sitting in a jail cell.
That’s where Arthur is now, awaiting sentencing on Dec. 16. She faces up to 20 years in federal prison, with no vacation time.
Only in Miami: Indicted, but on the payroll
BY CARL HIAASEN
http://CarlHiaasen.com
CHiaasen@MiamiHerald.com
More proof that Miami is the worst-run city in America:
Assistant Fire Chief Veldora Arthur was paid more than $120,000 to stay home and do nothing for seven months this year.
She wasn’t sick. She wasn’t agoraphobic.
She was under federal indictment for mortgage fraud.
On paper, Miami has a policy stating that non-union employees who face criminal charges should be placed on unpaid leave, or reassigned to another job. Arthur wasn’t reassigned, and she kept getting paid.
Between her indictment in February and her conviction in September, Arthur’s only duties were to stay inside her house from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., and phone the office twice a day. She also got a one-hour lunch break.
This is uproariously humorous, unless you’re a Miami taxpayer.
As expected, nobody in authority has offered a reasonable explanation of why Arthur got cozy treatment. However, plenty of reasonable questions are being asked, such as, “Why would they pay you to be at home when they could put you to work?”
That one came from Robert Suarez, the city’s fire union president.
In any other U.S. city, Arthur’s crime alone would have been the predominant aspect of the scandal. She acted as a “straw buyer” in an $11 million mortgage-fraud scam involving high-end condominiums in Aventura.
In exchange for about $317,000, the assistant fire chief allowed her name and credit ratings to be used to secure mortgages for the condos. She even claimed to be living in one of them when in fact she lived in Weston. The units later went into foreclosure, which surprised everyone but the scammers.
It was a sleazy end to an inspiring story line. Arthur, 45, had worked for the fire department since 1986. She was Miami’s first black female firefighter, and more than 10 years ago had been elevated to an administrative, non-union post.
At the time she was busted, Arthur was in charge of the fire department’s payroll and quality control. Again, the irony would be splendid if she hadn’t been getting a $184,000 salary, and wasn’t in line for a $167,000 pension from the city’s deferred retirement system.
But all that money wasn’t enough. Arthur got greedy.
City policy is to put criminally charged employees on unpaid leave. If they’re acquitted, they get reimbursed for back pay. As an alternative, the city manager may transfer them to another job until their court case is resolved.
The unusually generous decision to pay Arthur to stay home until the trial came from top city officials. On March 2, Miami’s then-chief financial officer, Larry Spring, emailed fire chief Maurice Kemp and directed him to put Arthur on paid leave.
It rankled many firefighters, who saw it as special treatment. The city has claimed that other non-union employees charged with serious crimes were kept on the payroll, but the records are proving mysteriously elusive. (Miami City Hall is a notorious black hole for important documents. The filing system was apparently devised by a pack of stoned dingbats).
How did Assistant Fire Chief Arthur pass the time during those seven months of enforced yet highly compensated relaxation? Chatting with her two defense lawyers, no doubt. Watching soap operas, perhaps, or knitting a turtleneck.
We know that she was given permission to take two vacations — one in North Carolina, and one in the Bahamas. We also know that, in addition to her salary and pension, she cashed in 125 hours of accumulated vacation time, worth another $11,000.
In a sane world, Arthur’s fertile relationship with Miami taxpayers would have ended definitively on Sept. 30, when a jury convicted her on three counts in the mortgage fraud case.
The good news: Arthur has been canned from the fire department. The bad news: She still wants that $167,000-plus city pension.
She’ll probably get it, too, unless the Miami Fire Fighters’ and Police Retirement Trust has its way. Trust officials say that employees convicted of felonies can forfeit a pension if the crime occurred on the job.
Arthur made the blunder of using city fax machines to send out letters and contracts while carrying out her role in the mortgage fraud. Prosecutors introduced the documents as evidence during the trial.
With any luck, some sane person at City Hall will agree that a lowlife scam artist who just happened to be assistant fire chief doesn’t deserve a big fat check for sitting in a jail cell.
That’s where Arthur is now, awaiting sentencing on Dec. 16. She faces up to 20 years in federal prison, with no vacation time.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
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