Little Johnny

Little Johnny snuck into the closet in his parents room via a deal that connects his to theirs (just go with it ok?!) and sees his mommy cheating on daddy w/ another guy. And as you could guess, daddy comes home early. So mommy shoves the man she's cheating with into the closet and straightens everything out to look like nothing was going on. After like 20 seconds the guy notices Johnny and said quietly "Damn kid! What are you doing in here?!" "I snuck in through this hatch here that connects to my closet, aw man I can't get it open, it's jammed, and I'm terrified of the dark!" "Aw com'on kid, just ride it out, it wont' be long!" 5 minutes later..."Mister...I'm scared of the dark!" "Aw com'on kid..." "I gotta get out of here!" "You can't! Your dad's right there...aw shit here, here's all the money I got in my wallet, it's only like 40 bucks." "Ok, thanks! I hope this won't take much longer." "Yeah, me either..." 5 minutes later, daddy's still there. "Mister, I'm scared of the dark!" "Oh come the hell on kid, it can't take much longer, NO, don't try to get out! Ok here here, take this pen, it's gold plated, cost me 100 bucks! Ok?! Just chill!" "Ok mister, thanks!" 5 more minutes later..."Mister...I'm scared of the dark!" "Oh for cryin' out loud kid, cool it, he's just about to leave! Here, take my watch, it's a Rolex, and yes it's real...just stay put..." Not even a minute later, daddy's gone and the cheating guy slowly opens the closet door, kisses mommy goodbye and leaves. Then mommy notices rustling in the closet. "JOHNNY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?!" "Look mommy! I got 40 dollars, a gold pen and a Rolex!" "Oh Johnny! That's wrong! You know that, I raised you better than that! Now you give me that stuff back, and you march your ass down to church right now and confess what you did!!!" "Oh ok" So approx. 20 minutes later, little Johnny gets to church, goes into the confessional and the priest says "Bless you my son, what are you sins you wish to confess?" "Mister, it's really dark in here." "Oh no kid, don't you dare start that shit again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"