Showing posts with label Rude Pundit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rude Pundit. Show all posts
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Rude Pundit on Teddy
8/26/2009
A Message on Ted Kennedy to Conservatives Who Hated Him (Mostly Profanity-Free for the Kiddies):
Let's just get this right:
Do you like your state and not the federal government controlling the curriculum of your kids' schools? Thank Ted Kennedy.
Do you like being able to vote starting at age 18? Thank Ted Kennedy.
Do you think low-income people should get help with heating their homes in the winter? Thank the man.
Do you think the federal government should fund cancer research? Yep.
Do you believe that Meals on Wheels is a good thing? Ditto.
Does your daughter (or you, if you're female) like playing soccer or basketball or softball at school? That'd be because of Ted Kennedy.
Do you think that disabled people should be able to go to school? Have access to buildings? Not be discriminated against for housing and loads of other things? Kennedy, big time.
You like your cheap airfares? You know the answer.
You think people on welfare oughta get jobs? So did Kennedy.
You think mental institutions should treat people humanely? Yeah, so did your new friend, Ted Kennedy.
You believe that the Defense Department should provide child care for the kids of soldiers? Kennedy did.
You think a woman shouldn't lose her job if she gets pregnant? You think 100,000 more cops on the street's a good idea? You think poor kids should have health care? You think soldiers in Iraq should have the proper armor? Just tick those things off the list. Some of them would have been accomplished without him; many would not have been.
You agreed with Ted Kennedy far, far more than you want to think you did, dear conservatives. Still, go ahead and dance your mad jigs on his still-warm corpse. Why not? We on the left certainly did when Jerry Falwell, Strom Thurmond, and Jesse Helms kicked. Hell, one asshole blogger even celebrated the death of Ann Coulter's father. But know that you dance in ignorance. Ask Orrin Hatch.
But, of course, you want to address the far more pressing issue of whether or not Ted Kennedy killed Mary Jo Kopechne back at Chappaquiddick all those decades ago, no matter what the investigations said. There's only a couple of things to say about that: The glib response is, "Yeah, and Thomas Jefferson nailed his slaves. What's your point?" More directly, Kennedy asked the people of Massachusetts if they wanted him to quit. They did not. The rest of the nation may have not wanted him as president, but for Massachusetts, Chappaquiddick quickly became a settled issue and distant history. That's all that mattered to keep him in the Senate, just like Louisiana will have to judge whether or not a prostitute-lovin' David Vitter should go back. That's democracy, gang, like it or not.
And Ted Kennedy did more for real, actual democracy than almost anyone else in our entire history as a nation.
More on that tomorrow in a real tribute.
(By the way, perhaps we now know why Barack Obama was trying to get health care reform done quickly.)
Let's just get this right:
Do you like your state and not the federal government controlling the curriculum of your kids' schools? Thank Ted Kennedy.
Do you like being able to vote starting at age 18? Thank Ted Kennedy.
Do you think low-income people should get help with heating their homes in the winter? Thank the man.
Do you think the federal government should fund cancer research? Yep.
Do you believe that Meals on Wheels is a good thing? Ditto.
Does your daughter (or you, if you're female) like playing soccer or basketball or softball at school? That'd be because of Ted Kennedy.
Do you think that disabled people should be able to go to school? Have access to buildings? Not be discriminated against for housing and loads of other things? Kennedy, big time.
You like your cheap airfares? You know the answer.
You think people on welfare oughta get jobs? So did Kennedy.
You think mental institutions should treat people humanely? Yeah, so did your new friend, Ted Kennedy.
You believe that the Defense Department should provide child care for the kids of soldiers? Kennedy did.
You think a woman shouldn't lose her job if she gets pregnant? You think 100,000 more cops on the street's a good idea? You think poor kids should have health care? You think soldiers in Iraq should have the proper armor? Just tick those things off the list. Some of them would have been accomplished without him; many would not have been.
You agreed with Ted Kennedy far, far more than you want to think you did, dear conservatives. Still, go ahead and dance your mad jigs on his still-warm corpse. Why not? We on the left certainly did when Jerry Falwell, Strom Thurmond, and Jesse Helms kicked. Hell, one asshole blogger even celebrated the death of Ann Coulter's father. But know that you dance in ignorance. Ask Orrin Hatch.
But, of course, you want to address the far more pressing issue of whether or not Ted Kennedy killed Mary Jo Kopechne back at Chappaquiddick all those decades ago, no matter what the investigations said. There's only a couple of things to say about that: The glib response is, "Yeah, and Thomas Jefferson nailed his slaves. What's your point?" More directly, Kennedy asked the people of Massachusetts if they wanted him to quit. They did not. The rest of the nation may have not wanted him as president, but for Massachusetts, Chappaquiddick quickly became a settled issue and distant history. That's all that mattered to keep him in the Senate, just like Louisiana will have to judge whether or not a prostitute-lovin' David Vitter should go back. That's democracy, gang, like it or not.
And Ted Kennedy did more for real, actual democracy than almost anyone else in our entire history as a nation.
More on that tomorrow in a real tribute.
(By the way, perhaps we now know why Barack Obama was trying to get health care reform done quickly.)
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Once AGAIN the Rude Pundit NAILS IT!
8/12/2009
Umm, Townhall Protesters? Jefferson Was Actually Talking About Your Blood, Too:
So, like, for a long time, as a threat to people in power, protesters trot out this line from Thomas Jefferson: "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants." It's been tossed back and forth between the left and right like a football at recess at the special school, although most often it's proudly displayed by the yahoos in some extreme right wing nutzoid movements, be it militias or the townhall idiots. And it'd be a poignant quote, one that gets us back to our roots as a revolutionary society. Except that Jefferson was actually talking about the blood of ignorant people who rise up in arms against the American government, too. In fact, it was mostly their blood.
The entire letter makes this clear, and, as with so many things properly understood in relation to the Founders, it is stunningly prescient. Jefferson was talking to John Adams' son-in-law about Shays' Rebellion, a truly fascinating episode in the early history of the nation, pre-Constitution, but post-Revolution, where rural Massachusetts citizens rose up against the state's government over issues of taxes and debt. They were crushed, of course, and many of the politicians of the time were all a-twitter with how this was an attack on liberty and how the rebels should be put to death.
And while he could be something of a drama queen in his rhetoric - well, really, they all could be (it's the effect of long-term wig-wearing) - Jefferson's essential message in his letter was, more or less, "Chill. Stupid people will act stupidly." Or, as he put it, "I say nothing of it's motives. They were founded in ignorance, not wickedness. God forbid we should ever be 20 years without such a rebellion. The people cannot be all, & always well informed. The part which is wrong will be discontented in proportion to the importance of the facts they misconceive. If they remain quiet under such misconceptions it is a lethargy, the forerunner of death to the public liberty."
See, Jefferson was forgiving the dumb, saying it was better to have idiots uprising than to have no civic engagement at all. But we have to understand that they're dumb and that the dumber they are, the more they will rage in their dumbess. Prior to the famous quote, Jefferson wrote, "We have had 13 states independent 11 years. There has been one rebellion. That comes to one rebellion in a century & a half for each state. What country before ever existed a century & a half without a rebellion? & what country can preserve it's liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to facts, pardon & pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two?"
Putting aside Jefferson's ease with people getting killed (and the fact that he wasn't even in the nation at the time; he was in Paris), it's pretty easy to conclude that President Obama's strategy of not condemning the protesters while trying to get the facts out there is far more Jeffersonian than the inflammatory rhetoric of any pundit or politician who pushes the protests.
So that dickless, punk-ass piece of prison-rape bait who brought a gun to Obama's New Hampshire townhall while carrying a sign that said, "It is time to water the tree of liberty"? Do you think he was thinking his blood was gonna be in the watering can? As for the farmers of Shays' Rebellion, most of them begged for clemency from the government they wanted to bring down (and almost all received it), so, you know, their blood wasn't really required.
Jefferson concluded with advice for those of us in Left Blogsylvania and those in the media fascinated by the whole townhall screamer phenomena: "Our Convention has been too much impressed by the insurrection of Massachusetts: and in the spur of the moment they are setting up a kite to keep the hen-yard in order." In other words, this is easily contained and don't get too bent out of shape.
Of course, just because he said it doesn't mean Thomas Jefferson is right about everything.
More on that soon.
So, like, for a long time, as a threat to people in power, protesters trot out this line from Thomas Jefferson: "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants." It's been tossed back and forth between the left and right like a football at recess at the special school, although most often it's proudly displayed by the yahoos in some extreme right wing nutzoid movements, be it militias or the townhall idiots. And it'd be a poignant quote, one that gets us back to our roots as a revolutionary society. Except that Jefferson was actually talking about the blood of ignorant people who rise up in arms against the American government, too. In fact, it was mostly their blood.
The entire letter makes this clear, and, as with so many things properly understood in relation to the Founders, it is stunningly prescient. Jefferson was talking to John Adams' son-in-law about Shays' Rebellion, a truly fascinating episode in the early history of the nation, pre-Constitution, but post-Revolution, where rural Massachusetts citizens rose up against the state's government over issues of taxes and debt. They were crushed, of course, and many of the politicians of the time were all a-twitter with how this was an attack on liberty and how the rebels should be put to death.
And while he could be something of a drama queen in his rhetoric - well, really, they all could be (it's the effect of long-term wig-wearing) - Jefferson's essential message in his letter was, more or less, "Chill. Stupid people will act stupidly." Or, as he put it, "I say nothing of it's motives. They were founded in ignorance, not wickedness. God forbid we should ever be 20 years without such a rebellion. The people cannot be all, & always well informed. The part which is wrong will be discontented in proportion to the importance of the facts they misconceive. If they remain quiet under such misconceptions it is a lethargy, the forerunner of death to the public liberty."
See, Jefferson was forgiving the dumb, saying it was better to have idiots uprising than to have no civic engagement at all. But we have to understand that they're dumb and that the dumber they are, the more they will rage in their dumbess. Prior to the famous quote, Jefferson wrote, "We have had 13 states independent 11 years. There has been one rebellion. That comes to one rebellion in a century & a half for each state. What country before ever existed a century & a half without a rebellion? & what country can preserve it's liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to facts, pardon & pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two?"
Putting aside Jefferson's ease with people getting killed (and the fact that he wasn't even in the nation at the time; he was in Paris), it's pretty easy to conclude that President Obama's strategy of not condemning the protesters while trying to get the facts out there is far more Jeffersonian than the inflammatory rhetoric of any pundit or politician who pushes the protests.
So that dickless, punk-ass piece of prison-rape bait who brought a gun to Obama's New Hampshire townhall while carrying a sign that said, "It is time to water the tree of liberty"? Do you think he was thinking his blood was gonna be in the watering can? As for the farmers of Shays' Rebellion, most of them begged for clemency from the government they wanted to bring down (and almost all received it), so, you know, their blood wasn't really required.
Jefferson concluded with advice for those of us in Left Blogsylvania and those in the media fascinated by the whole townhall screamer phenomena: "Our Convention has been too much impressed by the insurrection of Massachusetts: and in the spur of the moment they are setting up a kite to keep the hen-yard in order." In other words, this is easily contained and don't get too bent out of shape.
Of course, just because he said it doesn't mean Thomas Jefferson is right about everything.
More on that soon.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
RUDE PUNDIT NAILS IT AGAIN!!!
http://RudePundit.blogspot.com
7/21/2009
Right Wingers Ready for Violence to Defend the Rich, White Way of Life:
Lost amid the sublime delights of hearing Glen Beck totally lose his shit and screech like a wounded weasel in a bear trap on his radio show was his suggestion on the July 13 edition of his Fox "news" show, The Cleveland Steamer with Glenn Beck, that people should arm themselves for a coming revolution. No, really. In a conversation with NRA CEO Wayne "That Is a Gun in My Pants and I'm Not Happy to See You" LaPierre over whether Sonia Sotomayor would interpret the 2nd Amendment the way they believe it ought to be interpreted, Beck offered, "Would you say that our president or our government's stock market really is gun sales. That when gun sales go down -- everybody wants to say, 'Well, I protect guns for hunters,' even though -- I mean, look, I came from a family of hunters. I get it. But that's not -- the Founding Fathers weren't like, 'Well, we might want to go out and, you know, shoot some squirrel.' They did it because of an out-of-control government. And as gun sales go up, that's because we don't trust the government. That is -- that is the fundamental guttural understanding of the Second Amendment. People don't trust the government, they go out and buy a gun."
Did you get that? If you don't trust the government, go out and buy a gun. Because why? Because you can use the muzzle to push the buttons in a voting booth? Or because you can use it to shoot and kill any government motherfuckers who are going to...well, do what?
See, all the savage (and Savage) talk on the right that has inspired wackanoids to go out and shoot up unitarian churches and Holocaust Museum guards is for punk ass reasons. Glenn Beck, who may truly be straitjacket-and-rhino-tranq-his-ass crazy, and his ilk on markets large and small are whipping their frightened, underinsured, teetering on the brink listeners and viewers to a peaking froth because of their idiots' understanding of policy and history. They've reduced the American Revolution to being about taxes. Well, sure, and when a foreign government at the point of a gun and bayonet forces them to pay their tribute to the king, join their military, and quarter their soldiers, then we can talk.
The nation is always filled with wannabe revolutionaries. Usually they crop up when the actual physical well-being of themselves or others is threatened. Like, you know, back during 'Nam, when the federal government used troops to stop protests and a draft was sending people to a war they didn't want to fight. The Weather Underground (who have, indeed, had their welcome worn out for them) and other groups used violence as a tool because they saw the government violently oppressing them, through bullets at Kent State, through police clubs in Chicago. In other words, if the government was going to enforce its will and suppress the people by drawing blood, well, the thought goes, why not draw some, too? (Aside: it's one reason why non-violence is a truly revolutionary method of protest against those who are violent. Our visceral response is to want to kick some ass when someone tries to kick ours.)
So what is driving the good right wing to talk more and more openly about arming themselves for some coming uprising? Has Barack Obama sent the FBI to break down law-abiding conservatives' doors, take their guns, shoot their women, and rape their dogs? Did Joe Biden start an enemies list and had a handcuffed Sean Hannity dragged to a prison where he can be beaten until he gives the whereabouts of Steve Doocy? Holy shit, an ignorant outside observer might think, what is so deadly that a media figure like Beck is, in essence, telling people to buy guns now?
And the answer is a slight raise in the marginal tax rate on the wealthy? An attempt to provide health care to uninsured Americans? A legally-elected government in a representative democracy spending money in the way those campaigning said it would be spent? If Ben Franklin were around, he'd scoff, "Pussies," beat Glenn Beck unconscious with his cane, let Thomas Paine sodomize him, and head back to Paris for more time with whores.
(An uncomfortable tangent: Sometimes, within the rhetoric of insanity, violence can seem logical. Randall Terry and his pro-life legion of Jesus toesuckers believe that abortion is murder. The Rude Pundit's said it before: if you are so deluded as to think that women's health providers who do abortions are baby murderers no matter what the trimester, then you better be throwing your ass in the way to stop it, taking whatever consequences come like a good terrorist. Randall Terry is an attention-craving slugfucker whose cause should end up with him in prison, but he at least seems to think there are lives, not pocketbooks of the wealthy, on the line.)
Lost amid the sublime delights of hearing Glen Beck totally lose his shit and screech like a wounded weasel in a bear trap on his radio show was his suggestion on the July 13 edition of his Fox "news" show, The Cleveland Steamer with Glenn Beck, that people should arm themselves for a coming revolution. No, really. In a conversation with NRA CEO Wayne "That Is a Gun in My Pants and I'm Not Happy to See You" LaPierre over whether Sonia Sotomayor would interpret the 2nd Amendment the way they believe it ought to be interpreted, Beck offered, "Would you say that our president or our government's stock market really is gun sales. That when gun sales go down -- everybody wants to say, 'Well, I protect guns for hunters,' even though -- I mean, look, I came from a family of hunters. I get it. But that's not -- the Founding Fathers weren't like, 'Well, we might want to go out and, you know, shoot some squirrel.' They did it because of an out-of-control government. And as gun sales go up, that's because we don't trust the government. That is -- that is the fundamental guttural understanding of the Second Amendment. People don't trust the government, they go out and buy a gun."
Did you get that? If you don't trust the government, go out and buy a gun. Because why? Because you can use the muzzle to push the buttons in a voting booth? Or because you can use it to shoot and kill any government motherfuckers who are going to...well, do what?
See, all the savage (and Savage) talk on the right that has inspired wackanoids to go out and shoot up unitarian churches and Holocaust Museum guards is for punk ass reasons. Glenn Beck, who may truly be straitjacket-and-rhino-tranq-
The nation is always filled with wannabe revolutionaries. Usually they crop up when the actual physical well-being of themselves or others is threatened. Like, you know, back during 'Nam, when the federal government used troops to stop protests and a draft was sending people to a war they didn't want to fight. The Weather Underground (who have, indeed, had their welcome worn out for them) and other groups used violence as a tool because they saw the government violently oppressing them, through bullets at Kent State, through police clubs in Chicago. In other words, if the government was going to enforce its will and suppress the people by drawing blood, well, the thought goes, why not draw some, too? (Aside: it's one reason why non-violence is a truly revolutionary method of protest against those who are violent. Our visceral response is to want to kick some ass when someone tries to kick ours.)
So what is driving the good right wing to talk more and more openly about arming themselves for some coming uprising? Has Barack Obama sent the FBI to break down law-abiding conservatives' doors, take their guns, shoot their women, and rape their dogs? Did Joe Biden start an enemies list and had a handcuffed Sean Hannity dragged to a prison where he can be beaten until he gives the whereabouts of Steve Doocy? Holy shit, an ignorant outside observer might think, what is so deadly that a media figure like Beck is, in essence, telling people to buy guns now?
And the answer is a slight raise in the marginal tax rate on the wealthy? An attempt to provide health care to uninsured Americans? A legally-elected government in a representative democracy spending money in the way those campaigning said it would be spent? If Ben Franklin were around, he'd scoff, "Pussies," beat Glenn Beck unconscious with his cane, let Thomas Paine sodomize him, and head back to Paris for more time with whores.
(An uncomfortable tangent: Sometimes, within the rhetoric of insanity, violence can seem logical. Randall Terry and his pro-life legion of Jesus toesuckers believe that abortion is murder. The Rude Pundit's said it before: if you are so deluded as to think that women's health providers who do abortions are baby murderers no matter what the trimester, then you better be throwing your ass in the way to stop it, taking whatever consequences come like a good terrorist. Randall Terry is an attention-craving slugfucker whose cause should end up with him in prison, but he at least seems to think there are lives, not pocketbooks of the wealthy, on the line.)
Monday, July 20, 2009
Rude Pundit on Stephanie Miller today!
This motherfucker KICKS ASS!!!!!
7/20/2009
The Rude Pundit on Today's Stephanie Miller Show (and a Reminder of His Upcoming S.F. Appearance):
Here's the Rude Pundit's latest appearance on The Stephanie Miller Show. Thrill to the undercurrent of unspoken want as they discuss more Republican shenanigans and abject failure at the Sonia Sotomayor confirmation hearings:
(By the way, you subscribe to the Rude Pundit's podcast.)
Reminder: The Rude Pundit will be speaking at the Community Music Center in San Francisco this Sunday, July 26, as part of the 2009 Laborfest (scroll down a bit on the link). He'll talk on "Why Upton Sinclair Would Kick Arnold Schwarzenegger's Ass" as part of an evening of labor theatre and music. Support the cause, brothers and sisters.
For advance tickets call (415) 431-8485 or e-mail: marcusd(at)igc.org.
Here's the Rude Pundit's latest appearance on The Stephanie Miller Show. Thrill to the undercurrent of unspoken want as they discuss more Republican shenanigans and abject failure at the Sonia Sotomayor confirmation hearings:
(By the way, you subscribe to the Rude Pundit's podcast.)
Reminder: The Rude Pundit will be speaking at the Community Music Center in San Francisco this Sunday, July 26, as part of the 2009 Laborfest (scroll down a bit on the link). He'll talk on "Why Upton Sinclair Would Kick Arnold Schwarzenegger's Ass" as part of an evening of labor theatre and music. Support the cause, brothers and sisters.
For advance tickets call (415) 431-8485 or e-mail: marcusd(at)igc.org.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Bloggypoo round up time!
The following is solid gold by true bad asses! Enjoy:
From TheRandiRhodesShow.com & written by Randi Rhodes:
Sarah who?
Past Show Posts
___________________________________________________
From http://RudePundit.blogspot.com by Rude Pundit:
From TheRandiRhodesShow.com & written by Randi Rhodes:
Sarah who?The hits just keep on comin! Perhaps “vetting” might have made sense here, but nothing McSame does makes sense.
Leave aside how many truly qualified Republicans McSame had to choose from, i.e. Governor Jodi Rell or Senators Olympia Snowe, Susan Collins and even Kay Bailey Hutchinson IF he wanted “ovaries” on the ticket, but choosing Sarah Palin without even KNOWING HER shows the kind of judgment that should scare the PANTS SUIT off everyone.Sarah Palin didn’t even have a passport until she got a passport to go to Kuwait once.
- She knows nothing about Foreign Policy - YOU know more about Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, North Korea, Russia and Pakistan than she does!!
- She thinks Alaska should seced from the “union”
- She was FOR the Bridge to No Where until she was against it
- She campaigned for indicted Senator Ted Stevens
- She knows nothing the American Credit Crisis, Free Trade, Immigration, Economics, Foreign Policy, National Security, Education, Health Care, Iraq, Iran, Russia, Pakistan, Afghanistan, North Korea or China.
- She is under investigation for abuse of power (she had her brother in law State Trooper Wooten fired during a custody battle with her sister)
- She was a sportscaster, a city councilwoman and mayor of a town with less than 10,000 people before she was elected Governor almost by default
- She now claims “13 years of Elected Experience”
- She claims to have MORE experience than Barack Obama and Joe Biden
- She has served less than 2 years as Governor
- She did not campaign with John McCain
- She did not know John McCain
- She hunts from airplanes
- She is a radical Christian Right Winger who obviously does believe in choice “Bristol CHOSE to have her baby”
- She thinks the Pledge of Allegiance was written by the Founding Fathers Francis Bellamy (1855 - 1931), a Baptist minister, wrote the original Pledge in August 1892. He was a Christian Socialist
- She brought the issue of ABORTION into the Wasilla’s “Mayor” race (a non partisan job that pays $68K/year)
- Her mother in law won’t vote for her.
- She doesn’t know what the Vice President “does all day”
- She has a son who won’t take a photo with her, a 17 year old daughter who is pregnant
- She stayed in Texas determined to “give a speech” at the Governors Conference AFTER her water broke prematurely with a high risk pregnancy
- She is married to a guy who had a DUI
- She doesn’t believe Global Warming is real
- She doesn’t believe in Evolution
- She would be a heartbeat away from being the Commander in Chief of the most awesome military and nuclear arsenal on the planet
John McCain is a desperate man who will do anything to TRY to win an election including putting us in the hands of a patently unqualified HOCKEY mom.
So Monica Goodling wasn’t available???PROTESTORS BEING GASSED. AMY GOODMAN OF PACIFICA RADIO ARRESTED???
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=oYjyvkR0bGQ
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/09/01/rnc.security/index.html#cnnSTCVideo
Police surrounded I Witness Video crew who were there to document any police brutality. They are LAWYERS and Videographers.They arrested everyone in the house without a warrant
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vi1eluuDGss
Homework for Tuesday, Septemeber 2, 2008
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From http://RudePundit.blogspot.com by Rude Pundit:
9/02/2008
Bristol Palin's Vagina Considered:
Let us pause for a moment to think about Bristol Palin's 17 year-old vagina. Don't worry, fellas and gals. The age of consent in Alaska is 16, so not only can you think away, but you don't have to worry that 18 year-old Levi Johnston raped her statutorily. Already the governor's daughter, Bristol Palin and her vagina were thrust into a national spotlight thanks to the pure beauty queen/newscaster stupidity of her mother, Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, and the McCain campaign, which seems to act more like an agitated old man with Alzheimer's than the actual agitated old man the campaign is for. So as we think about Bristol Palin's vagina and the obvious activity it has experienced, remember that we did not ask for her vagina to be shoved in our faces.
First off, how much of a fucking idiot do you have to be to even allow yourself to be a national nominee if your high school senior daughter is pregnant? Sarah Palin, whose frightening 1980s head shot looks like every white girl the Rude Pundit ever fucked in college, believed that her personal ambitions were more important than Bristol's vagina when Bristol's vagina should have come first.
When it was announced that the teenager had decided "on her own" that she would keep the baby, evangelicals masturbated at the idea of Bristol Palin's vagina, which was possibly roughed-up by Levi's stumbling fingers before he fucked her for a couple of seconds, depositing his sperm-rich semen into Bristol. The Family Research Council released a statement praising Bristol for "choosing life in the midst of a difficult situation."
What the fuck's all this shit about "decisions" and "choice"? The point of the pro-life movement is that there ought to be no choice available. High school hockey player with douchebag whiskers knocks your daughter up? She's having that fucking baby. Because if there was ever a moment where there was a choice, that makes her goddamned pro-choice.
So, really, was there ever a discussion, at any point? Did Bristol Palin ever get to say, "Papa Don't Preach"-style, "I'm keepin' my baby?" 'Cause, see, that seems at odds with the goals of Feminists for Life, of which Sarah is a proud member.
Bristol Palin's vagina, which may or may not be topped by a tuft of pubic hair shaved in various shapes, is important to our national discourse for obvious reasons. Her vagina, however tight or loose it may be, reveals how degraded conservative moral beliefs actually are, as if we needed any more evidence that abstinence education is a complete failure, even from one's parents, that teenagers wanna fuck and are gonna fuck no matter how much you threaten disease, babies, or the stink-eye of Jesus.
But, at the end of the day, the fact that we are discussing Bristol Palin's vagina means that the John McCain campaign is effectively over. Not because of the fact of the vagina, but because of the fact that John McCain probably gave more consideration and background checking to the servants at his and Cindy's houses. He has fucked the goat. Even if, as some are suggesting, he's gonna try to take a mulligan on the decision and re-boot to Lieberman, well, if one gets that 3 a.m. call for a crisis, one had better make the right decision by 3:01.
Note: An earlier version of this mistakenly ascribed the lyrics to "Papa Don't Preach" to "Like a Virgin." The Rude Pundit regrets the confusion over Madonna's oeuvre. Thanks to obviously gay male reader JC for pointing this out.
Let us pause for a moment to think about Bristol Palin's 17 year-old vagina. Don't worry, fellas and gals. The age of consent in Alaska is 16, so not only can you think away, but you don't have to worry that 18 year-old Levi Johnston raped her statutorily. Already the governor's daughter, Bristol Palin and her vagina were thrust into a national spotlight thanks to the pure beauty queen/newscaster stupidity of her mother, Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, and the McCain campaign, which seems to act more like an agitated old man with Alzheimer's than the actual agitated old man the campaign is for. So as we think about Bristol Palin's vagina and the obvious activity it has experienced, remember that we did not ask for her vagina to be shoved in our faces.
First off, how much of a fucking idiot do you have to be to even allow yourself to be a national nominee if your high school senior daughter is pregnant? Sarah Palin, whose frightening 1980s head shot looks like every white girl the Rude Pundit ever fucked in college, believed that her personal ambitions were more important than Bristol's vagina when Bristol's vagina should have come first.
When it was announced that the teenager had decided "on her own" that she would keep the baby, evangelicals masturbated at the idea of Bristol Palin's vagina, which was possibly roughed-up by Levi's stumbling fingers before he fucked her for a couple of seconds, depositing his sperm-rich semen into Bristol. The Family Research Council released a statement praising Bristol for "choosing life in the midst of a difficult situation."
What the fuck's all this shit about "decisions" and "choice"? The point of the pro-life movement is that there ought to be no choice available. High school hockey player with douchebag whiskers knocks your daughter up? She's having that fucking baby. Because if there was ever a moment where there was a choice, that makes her goddamned pro-choice.
So, really, was there ever a discussion, at any point? Did Bristol Palin ever get to say, "Papa Don't Preach"-style, "I'm keepin' my baby?" 'Cause, see, that seems at odds with the goals of Feminists for Life, of which Sarah is a proud member.
Bristol Palin's vagina, which may or may not be topped by a tuft of pubic hair shaved in various shapes, is important to our national discourse for obvious reasons. Her vagina, however tight or loose it may be, reveals how degraded conservative moral beliefs actually are, as if we needed any more evidence that abstinence education is a complete failure, even from one's parents, that teenagers wanna fuck and are gonna fuck no matter how much you threaten disease, babies, or the stink-eye of Jesus.
But, at the end of the day, the fact that we are discussing Bristol Palin's vagina means that the John McCain campaign is effectively over. Not because of the fact of the vagina, but because of the fact that John McCain probably gave more consideration and background checking to the servants at his and Cindy's houses. He has fucked the goat. Even if, as some are suggesting, he's gonna try to take a mulligan on the decision and re-boot to Lieberman, well, if one gets that 3 a.m. call for a crisis, one had better make the right decision by 3:01.
Note: An earlier version of this mistakenly ascribed the lyrics to "Papa Don't Preach" to "Like a Virgin." The Rude Pundit regrets the confusion over Madonna's oeuvre. Thanks to obviously gay male reader JC for pointing this out.
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