Thursday, December 18, 2008

Public service announcement for Florida residents!!!

Just so y'all know, it is ILLEGAL in Florida to have sex with a porcupine, unless you are a porcupine.
I shit you not, it's an actual LAW! I read this in this GREAT book FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE: 101 Things NOT Everyone Should Know How to Do by Michael Powell-- should be in your local book store's humor section.
Now, let's stop and ANALize.
This means some seriously inbred jackass fucktard fucked a porcupine, AND GOT CAUGHT; otherwise, why would this law exist?!?!!? And I am 100% AGAINST bestiality, but A FUCKING PORCUPINE!?!?! You mean to tell me some yokel was like "Well, gawdangit! Here I am all horny as hell after that 5th of 'shine, and that damn hog wouldn't hold still...sonbitch sheep got away on me...motherfuckin chickens and the goat did too...hey...what's that?! A porcupine?! Well sheeeyat, why not!!!!!"
I am SO proud of my home state!!!!!!!!!!!!
But, at least there's a LAW AGAINST IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What I don't get is, I've NEVER seen a porcupine ANYWHERE in this state. And I've seen damn near EVERY type of wild life there IS to see that exists in this state. Either they're the most stealth animal (well, can ya blame 'em if some hillbillies are trying to fuck 'em?!?!!?) or they're not habitating in South or Central FL.
Just goes to show how RETARDED this country is when it comes to sex! Can we PLEASE start a fund for something like "Blow-up dolls OF HUMANS for rednecks", or something?!?!?! Get them at least USED to having sex WITH A HUMAN, and NOT ANIMALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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